goy terms of service & AUP

1. Goy Agreement & Acceptance

By registering an account or deploying virtual slop on goonhost.rocks, you agree to be bound by these terms. If you don't like it or can't follow the rules, terminate your goys and leave lil bro.

2. Acceptable Goonage Policy (AUP)

GoonHost provides anonymous, high-performance KVM virtual server infrastructure. However, the following activities are strictly prohibited on our network:

• Outbound DDoS attacks, IP spoofing, or network port flooding.
• Unsolicited bulk email (SPAM) transmission or operating open mail relays.
• Hosting child sexual abuse material (CSAM) or terrorist content.
• Malware distribution, botnet command-and-control (C2) servers, or ransomware operations.
• CPU over-utilization that intentionally explodes co-located hypervisor hardware nodes like a freshie.

3. Micro-Hourly Slop Billing & Zero-Balance Suspension

Virtual server usage is billed strictly on a micro-hourly basis ($1.00 / 730 hours). Deductions are automatically processed every hour from your account balance.

If your account balance hits zero, your virtual machines will be automatically suspended and locked down so you can't turn them on until you top up via CryptoBot.

4. Reverse DNS (rDNS) & BIND9 Delegation

Custom IPv6 rDNS PTR records are delegated to authoritative BIND9 DNS servers. You are responsible for ensuring that your reverse DNS domain names do not violate trademark laws or point to malicious endpoints.

5. Service Level Agreement (SLA) & Limitations

While we maintain a 99.9% uptime target for hypervisor nodes, GoonHost is provided on an "as is" and "as available" basis. Users are solely responsible for creating regular QCOW2 snapshots and external backups of their virtual machine data.